omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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