thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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