i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
