I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think weed is turning my hair brown
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
