It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
