Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have aggressive nipples.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
