I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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