He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We are two peas in an std pod
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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