her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Less talking, more tequila
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
