I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Houston, we have a blender
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
