we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
