im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
