Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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