And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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