How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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