quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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