I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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