he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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