I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
