Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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