so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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