last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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