I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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