i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
