good thing vaginas are great cup holders
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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