My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
vagina is talking i cant
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
