just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
