As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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