I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
