the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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