just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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