So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
