Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
