what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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