so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
