i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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