I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
