I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
