You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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