I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
