I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
