She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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