I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize