I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
