i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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