Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
