I got chris browned last night
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
