you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
