I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
