No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Still dying that you shit outside
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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