we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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