when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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