i just google imaged poop.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
