I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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