I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
