Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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