I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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