You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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