Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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