I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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