I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize