Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize