guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize