his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
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This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize