a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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