I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
