Well douche your snatch and let's go!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
