My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
