Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
