after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
