this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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