It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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