I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
