Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
