No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
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her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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