I met the friendliest cop last night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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