The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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