Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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